Assertiveness is not something you can learn overnight. It literally takes years of practice. But if you succeed and truly become master of your emotions, you will have won one of life\’s most profitable battles. Assertiveness not only brings comfort to both sides of an argument. You learn to get along with people like no one else does. You will learn patience with children. You will stop letting other people\’s comments get to you. You will not turn dangerous people into enemies when you meet them.
Realize that what is morally right is largely up to you. If someone criticizes your attitude or behavior, check your conscience and consider whether you are benefiting them. Sometimes the truth is harsh and we don\’t want to see it. We also sometimes accept other people\’s attitudes as doctrine without thinking about it. Look within yourself. If you act with a clear conscience, criticism from others should not affect you.
How can you do this?
Focus on the moments when you feel guilty. The moment when you wish you hadn\’t said those things. And then take that moment as important data and analyze it. Was the person who was criticizing you right? Don\’t be afraid to change your mind and tell him or her.
Allowing yourself to change your mind is essential when practicing assertiveness. Often, someone will cut themselves off with: “But you said this last time…” Don\’t be afraid to change your mind. Allow yourself to admit mistakes, and don\’t let such manipulative techniques put you in uncomfortable situations. If you don\’t want to do something, don\’t do it.
What should I do?
Don\’t be afraid to admit the whole truth. The next time a friend asks you to hang out, confide this to them. But this weekend, after a hard day\’s work, I just want to lie around in bed and relax.” ” There is no need to make excuses or excuses. A decent man will respect your sincerity.
What if my technique doesn\’t work?
Then you”ll proceed to turn the wheel. ” Repeat your stance until the other person understands that you are not really moving them.